Well as anyone who might stuble upon this blog will be able to tell, I'm not really much of a blogger. A great deal has happened since I started this and bit by bit I might fill in the gap. Or maybe it's best to let this one die and to start a a new one. I'll have to give it some thought.

Starting again

I startd this blog when I was living in the family home.  A fair bit has happened since then and I have not been connected to the world for a while.  That's all changed now as I have bought a netbook and got my broadband service connected.  I now live alone and as we have a new year and a new decade I guess I need a new start to my life. 

My Annis Horiblis

Well here goes!

I created this blog and then could not think what to put in it. I have looked at some other blogs and as we know there is a very wide range. Some people just tell the world what is happening for them so I might as well do the same. As it and time goes on I may be able to add more interesting stuff. This early stuff will be fairly mundain for many but may strike a cord with some.  I guess this blog is more about self help therapy than really being of any interest to anyone else.  The internet played a part in this tragedy, she used it to hurt maybe I can use it to heal.  It's probably far too early to tell!

As you will see from my profile I am married but only just. December 09 will see (saw) our 25th (silver) wedding anniversay for my wife and me. However a few months ago she informed me that she wanted a divorce as she "wants her space and feels that she has outgrown the marriage". Its a pity she never mentioned anything before. We have been having a dry spell but many people of our age who have been married as long as we have may recognise the pressures of work and life that can bring this about. Anyway she wants to enjoy life more and has developed a friendship group that is not all as good as it could be.

I have become one of the unacknowledged victims of domestic abuse. The emotional abuse and trauma that she has put me through as been far more than any person should have to take. I have pleaded, begged and tried to pursude her to reconsider all with no success. I have been understanding of her need to have friends and even of her affairs. None of it has got me anywhere. However what it has got me is some new experiences and contact with the great British legal system, god bless it (I think not).

The subject of our legal system could be an entire blog all of its own. My contacts with it related to this are:

• My first ever speeding ticket, cought by a speed camera allegedly doing six miles over the limit.
• Being arrested for the first time ever and bailed to appear in court.
• The great injustice of the English divorce system.

My speeding ticket was due to being a little preoccupied in my thoughts about my wife's behavior. I will write a blog entry about the legal disgrace that is the speed camera rip off that we have in this country. I will also write separatly about the divorce system and perhaps what we ought to try and do to change it.  However just before I move on from that a topical observation.  The UK government are trying to remove a partial defence in English law that in murder cases where the partner (spouse) had sex with another person (sexual adultery) this could be a mitigating factor that leads to a lessor charge.  I'm not for one moment justifying murder but perhaps if our legal system gave the wronged party some proper route to get justice they may not feel that the only thing they can do to get it is to kill their cheating partner.  Take note UK Government.  I'll come back to that in a later post.

The great British justice system, once respected across the globe is in reality a joke.  I am afraid to say that what the police now do is look for easy cases and the general law abiding population of this land is an easy target.  Like my 'speed awareness' course that was the alternative to points on my driving license.  I attended this course along with the other middle aged, responsible people who had been caught by stealth cameras.  One was caught at 6am on a Sunday morning on a rural road, another was on a country lane.  These are hardly to be high accident areas but easy pickings for the speed camera vermin.  Meanwhile really dangerous driving by the unlicensed and uninsured often goes undetected.  I witnessed really dangerous driving a few days after I got my notice of intending prosecution.  I and three other drivers, including a learner, were overtaken on two blind bends by a reckless and dangerous driver, but guess what?!

That was the first of my recent contacts with the (in)justice system of this police state we call home.  The second is related to my impending divorce and the behaviour of my wife.  In this country today it appears woman can do no wrong and should not be held to account for any of her behaviour.  Last week we had national 'Domestic Violence Awareness Week'.  The media, government and the courts were awash with damnation of male perpetrators of violence against women.  All the reports focussed on women as the victims and men as the abusers.  This week it is 'National Rape Awareness Week' with warnings to women about not drinking too much and 'looking after each other'.  Men as the baddies again!

Not to get too much into the 'poor me' self pity that some may read this as but I do now have a far better understanding of the issues for the the Father's for Justice' pressure group.  My wife started her campaign to destroy our marriage at least two years ago, and in probably long before that.  She had lost her mother, has issues about her weight and health and had been out of work for some time.  This was because she had given up work to nurse her mother.  As a family we sacrificed a lot, family holidays, school trips, home improvements etc as a result of her doing that. She lost interest in our intimate life (or so she told me).  I simply believed her to be grieving and depressed and waited for her to come through the recovery process.  I offered support and encouragement as best I could, normally it was rejected.  The reward I got for my patience and care was her adultery with a string of other men.  I got lies and deceit and a callous campaign of hate against me.  There were graphic e-mails left for me to find where she and her accomplice described in great detail the sordid sex they indulged in.  All this time she was telling me that she had no interest in sex.  I'm not a rapist so if she said no to me then no it was but she was not saying no to others.  She has tried to justify her betrayal as being because I was 'not interested in her'!  She left e-mails for me to find but becuase I trusted her without question I did not find them, but my teenaged daughter did!!  My wife does not care who she harms or who gets caught in her crossfire.

Unreasonably provoked I  fell right into the trap set for me and got into a physical fight with my wife.  She, as planned, involved the police and I as a nieve decent fool told them exactly what happened an what I had done.  They weren't too interested in the provocation or the abuse I have been put through but relished another easy conviction to make their stats look good.  I ended up in court last week.  As I had done the decent thing and admitted my part I of course got a conviction but probably the lightest sentance the court could give me.  It should never have gone to court but our public legal system no longer seeks justce, mearly convictions to make the stats look good.  Generally ordinary law abiding people are the victims of this abuse by the police whilst the real crims are having a laugh.